LIKE THE CHICKEN AND EGG THEORY, NOBODY REALLY KNOWS IF A GROUP OF WOMEN COWORKERS IN AN OFFICE SETTING are truly classified as hens, or not. They certainly do have sharp, dangerous beaks!

             =              
                   TOO MANY, TOO CLOSE!   YOU ARE DOOMED                    SCARED?  KEEP STILL.
                                                                                                                                 THEY CAN'T SEE YOU UNLESS YOU
                                                                                                                                 MOVE.

And nobody can deny the fact that if you (a male) are dropped in their midst, and they detect any smell of weakness, they will instinctively flock together and peck the living daylights out of you.  Never mind that they pull each others feathers out, and squabble and gossip and claw at each other endlessly in your absence....it only takes your presence- and few words of encouragement (such as, "here's how you fix it", or, "did you read the manual, you've been doing twice the work you need to for years?") to cause them to immediately band in attack formation.  This instinctual urge to kill the intruder is as predictable as dropping fat juicy seal blubber into a polar bear cage.


THE NEW JOB

Starting a new job? Scientists who have analyzed this phenomenon (intelligent, rational men of course, not stupid Hos) have worked out quite reliable mathematical equations which can be used to predict the average man's long term survivability in office hire situations. Known as the "Bitch Beak Ratio", or BBR factor, it is the proportion of women to men in the office, multiplied times the number of people who are isolated in work groups by cubicle walls.  This law is as absolute as gravity.
For example, starting a new job in an office setting with 10 tempermental bitches diluted by two men would be [10/2 * 12], or a 60 percent chance of your job ending in flames, and you pecked to death.
A much more comfortable environment of being cube-enclosed in with 2 wenches and 20 rational, laid back guys however, would put you only in 2.2 percent danger of destruction. Use this equation with care when selecting your new workplace! It could mean your life.

 

                              
     OFFICE WOMEN FEED                  THIS STUFF IS LIKE SPINACH                  IT AINT' WORKIN, HUNNY.
                                                              MAKES EM YAK ENDLESSLY                  BUT I'M NOT SAYIN NOTHING!  I VALUE
                                                                                                                                MY LIFE.

CHICKEN FEED

We will leave alone exploring the chilling comparison of office women perpetually munching on popcorn and diet sprite in their family-photo and heartwarm-plaque encrusted cubes, to hens pecking at feed in their cages. I am reminded of one instance where popcorn actually spilled on the floor, and the flock broke off their attack and scattered and started harvesting off the floor in a most poultry-ish fashion. Giving me a chance to escape, and I live to tell the tale! Use this technique as a last resort, but take my advice and keep your feet out of reach!! Due to their tiny short-circuit brains, they won't remember a thing.

Peace.

YOU'VE ALL WORKED FOR THEM BEFORE.... THE OLD HAG THAT AIN'T PACKIN NUTHIN' NO MORE!   Hasn't been laid in decades. And she's mad as hell about it.....and you're gonna pay.
Finding no sexual release at home, she's built her empire on the backs her cowering minimum wage man-slaves. Like a fat, bloated spider spinning her stinking webs of treachery and lies, and daily catching and tormenting her flies for the sheer fun of it.

The Power Hoe will cheat, steal, and mow ya over to get ahead, cause that's the only way she's gonna make you bend over willingly......and watch out bending over cause her whiplash tongue is as sharp as a dragon sword! OUCH!! Territorial as a bitch terrier and twice as ugly, she'll have your ass for lunch with a parsley garnish if you cross her path...... or even borrow her pencils. You fuc-ed. It's all hers now, yar in her little gift-n-bow-wrapped kingdom and you're lucky if she allows you to use the toilet paper.

But who cares? Quit and head for McDonalds, cause she's as ugly as crap, dumb as a rock and you won't have to shield your eyes from the hurt of looking at that saggin' baggage cart no mo. 'Nuff said.

        +      =      

 

TYPES OF HOs.    THEY ARE ALL DANGEROUS........DO NOT FEED!

                                  
      FAT HOE                OLD HOE              BITCHIN HO             POWER HOE           PACKIN' HO
    (save the snacks!)           (did you keep                  (shut up!)                                           (we like these, cept
                                               your reciept?)                                                                                                    when they talk)

                                              

WELCOME TO NAPPYHEADEDHOs.com, WHERE WE CALL IT AS WE SEE IT!
You won't hear any Save the Whales funk at our site. And no babbling about what we had for breakfast.   Oh no.

Our site is about all those dip-headed walking baby ovens that have no business in our working world. And their krusty old witch counterparts, who claw their way up the ladder so they can then try to enslave us. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it! So sit back and take a big draught of truth. AHHAHHAHAH~~ahahahahahaahhahahahhahhhhahaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

 

 

RIP Imus, We Never Understood Your Mumbling, Anyway...